We Must Answer Or We'll Die
by Awesome Fangirl
Summary: Yaoi, USUK. Artie and Alfie have to answer all your questions. No matter how silly or r18 rated they are.
1. Chapter 1

Suddendly, somebody turned on the light and walked to the front. The boy with blond hair and piercing green eyes stepped forward with a microphone in his hand. He smiled and gave his audience a welcoming hello.

''Hello ladies ad gentleman. My name is Arthur Kirkland and it's a pleasure to be here by you. Please take care of me.'' The audience which consisted mostly of girls beetween 14 and 21 years aplauded and welcomed the young man. ''I bet you all ask yourself what I am doing here, well-'' Arthur was rudely interrupted by the sound of breaking wood. When everyone looked up and saw the big hole in the ceiling they started to scream.

''HAHA! Fear no more my fans, THE HERO IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!'' somebody announced and a figure jumped from the roof directly in front of Arthur. The young man clothed in a batman costume did heroic poses for his fans. The girls clapped and cheered while Arthur punched the idiot.

''You bloody git! Why did you do that! I told you that we canceled that idea!'' he began.

''But- But I look so good like this! Let me have my fun!''

''Alfred, do what I say and now strip!''

''Batman is cool! And I didn't know you want to see me naked..'' The one called Alfred said and winked at the other boy.

''Huh?'' Realization hit him and he blushed deeply at what he just said. ''N-No I did not mean it t-that way!'' While the two friends began fighting together and chasing each other in circles, an unknown girl ran to them and screamed at them.

''STOP FIGHTING NOW OR I SWEAR I'LL GET IVAN.'' Both were immediately silent. ''That's better.'' The girl sighed happily and turned to the confused audience. ''Hehe, hi guys and I'm terribly sorry for those idiots there..'' she glared shortly at them. ''But aaanyway~ I don't really have to explain much do I? You don't need to know who I am, just call me Fangirl-sama! And I am the one who had the idea to his show. THE WE MUST ANSWER OR WE'LL DIE-SHOW! .. Yeah I know pretty badass name, thanks.'' Everyone wasn't feeling the same way but just to be nice they laughed and agreed.

''Basically I asked these two to come to my show and answer questions (or they'll die.) and I was lucky they agreed! So you can ask them anything, I will make them answer.'' Arthur and Alfred shivered in fear but they tried to stay calm. ''Ask them anything, all right, darlings?'' Everyone nodded and agreed.

''Okay boys~'' Fangirl turned to the two. ''Leave. Now.''

''YES!'' They ran to the exit and out of the building.

Fangirl suddendly grinned and turned to the crowd that was about to leave. ''Not so fast, my fellow fangirls.'' They stopped and looked at her. ''Now that both of them are gone I can explain you the real plan.''

''The real plan?'' a girl asked.

''But of course! Here are two hot and sexy guys ready to answer everything you ask them and you just want to ask boring things? NONSENSE! This all is a plan from me to give all of you wonderful USUK Yaoi Fanservice!'' Fangirl said dreamily. All the girls that were in the room kya'd with shining eyes and some began dancing. A few just left the building because apparently they weren't fans, but that didn't matter because more than enough stayed.

''Okay girls, I want you two to ask R-18 rated USUK questions and embarrass the shit out of Artie and Alfie~'' Some girls squeeled and already had questions in mind. ''But fine, you may ask normal ones too or just fluffy ones, they have to answer everything anyway! And of course you can ask me questions too.. what's kind of pointless because I'm just randomly here but it's fine by me! Ask as many as you want but just do it, m'kay?''

Fangirl was enjoyng the excitement of everyone and she smirked to herself.

This is going to be fun.

''Now excuse me, my ladies, I have other stories to work on~'' And she left.

Review with your question, you may ask as much as you want! And sorry for my bad english, it's my third laguage, have mercy q_q


	2. Chapter 2

"What am I doing with my life." Fangirl said and kneeled on the floor, tired as shit. But then she stood up and did her best heroic pose. "I'm sorry guys!" Fake tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'm so slow with updates! And I will be answering ONLY two question in this chapter. I suck." She took a deep breath and got serious again. "This won't be the only chapter for toda-..this week. After I come back from school and learn, I will be writing on another one because I just have to, and please help me, just scream at me in the reviews, and tell me to "fucking update" and I will." Finally Fangirl quitted her rant.

"So let's get down to bussiness! Sorry for answering so little.. But the next one will have every question of ch. 1 answered, ok! That's like more than 5 questions so that's really long!" The audience clapped.

Finally Arthur and Alfred entered the room and they sat in front of his fans, Alfred grinning like the idiot he was and Arthur giving everyone a charming smile as a greeting. "Alright guys, are you ready?"

"A little bit nervous, but I'm ready." The brit answered first."Good. This question goes to Alfred!" Fangirl scrolled through the messages on her mobile and she chose the first one, which was asked by a Guest.

"I'm ready! Come at me."

"Okay, so, Alfred.. Would you let Arthur **** you on an unicorn?" Arthur chocked on his saliva while the fangirls just held their breath watching closely and waiting for an answer before their heart exploded.

"E-Excuse me what kind of question is tha-" Arthur tried to demand to take back this question but was immediately silenced by Fangirl's hand clapped on his mouth.

"Wat?" Alfred asked simply.

"So? What's your answer?"

"I don't understand what you mean by star star star star how should I know?" Alfred.. Are you seriously.. That stupid?

Everyone in the room sighed because of that. "Uhmm... Ok I'm going to translate.. The Guest meant uh.. "take". Would you let Arthur take you on an unicorn?"

"Pssht unicorns don't exist anyways! How is he supposed to take me on a ride then?!" Alfred laughed to himself thinking he "totally aced" that question.

"God no Alfred I mean FUCK. WOULD YOU LET ARTHUR FUCK YOU ON AN UNICORN DAMNIT." Fangirl finally roared while the american man began 'asdfghjkl'ing in front of anyone. That meaning of that question would've NEVER come to his mind. "We are waiting, dear." Fangirl pushed, she wanted to be done fast, it was late and she had to go to sleep. It was pretty tiring trying to keep Arthur shuted up.

The american knew he wasn't going to get out alive if he doesn't answer.. So he began awkwardly hoping his friend who was still being silenced by a hand giving him pleading looks wouldn't get mad at him. "I've honestly never thought of him fucking me on a unicorn.. (Because they don't exist anyway psht.) But.. It would be... Uhh.. Well... Interesting.. or stuff.." He answered not trying to be embarrassed even though a clear blush bloomed on his cheeks.

"YOU WANT TO BE FUCKED BY ARTIE ON AN UNICORN ADMIT IT YOU'D LOVE IT!" A girl from the audience yelled.

"YES AND NOW LET GO OF ARTHUR." Alfred screamed back still red in the face.

"Fanfiction ideas.." someone whispered from the first row and everyone nodded in agreement.

Fangirl was content with the answer and let go of Arthur mouth, who looked at the other man shyly before they both looked somewhere else, not wanting to have eyecontact after something that embarrassing. "Moving on! The second question Guest asked is for you Arthur."

"I'm so happy right now.."

"Ahaha I know you are! So.. Imagine Alfred ate one of your... absolutely delicious scones.. would you reward him with a kiss?" Fangirl wiggled her eyebrows at Arthur who to everyones surprise kept a pokerface and answered without blushing!

"Yes. I would." Everyones mouths gaped open. "Mind.. explaining your fast answer?"

He 'tsk'ed but decided he could tell them. "Well not everyone is really enjoying my scones.. It actually means a lot of me when someone eats them, so yes, I would kiss him."

"Dude.." Arthur looked at Alfred heat rising to his face.

"Sh-Shut up!" He stuttered because he's such a tsundere sometimes, and stomped out of the room without any goodbyes.

"Two questions right? Our job is done for today." Alfred said and ran after his friend, before shutting the door everyone heard his last sentence.

"Hey Artie, make me some scones!"

Fangirl was melting on the stage because of this cute scene. Girls that heard that were starting to 'awww' and clapped for that idiot hero. Smiling gently after this romantic- was it really romantic? Well, Alfred-antic..- moment, Fangirl decided to end this episode and finally get some sleep.

"I hope you had fun my fellow fans, I'm answering more.. A fRICKING LOT MORE, questions soon! Stay tuned! Cuss at me for not updating! And most importantly, leave questions and have a good day!

FANGIRL, OUT."

The room fell silent.

A note was left on the ground where Fangirl stood. Someone from the crowd of girl who didn't leave the hall yet picked it up and read it silently.

''Wanna know a fun fact? I actually wrote this lke two weeks ago but I forgot to upload it.'' The black haired girl blinked and muttered, ''What an idiot.''


End file.
